Losing a friend to cancer recently after less than a year from death to diagnosis,  I had an epiphany in the shower.  You know,  we all survey our own terrain of life when faced with a mirror of our fragility.

Meditating and listening while being pelted with waters monotony of an almost too hot to stand shower it hit me.

 

Really we have no control over the beginning or end of our lives no matter what we do, what we really do is spend our lives micromanaging the chaos.

 Don’t get me wrong, we certainly can do things to improve the time that we are here, and that is certainly our duty, but since I have yet to know people who know of their exact death date and successfully avert it through their own workings.  Maybe it has happened, but I’m certainly not privy to it.

Instead, we run ourselves in circles trying to micromanage everything and convince ourselves that we are fixing it, controlling it, determining it.  Perhaps it’s the way to best survive this adventure we believe.

But there is another thing to think about in this awareness of circumstance.   Permission to breathe.  Certainly, don’t take your hands off the wheel, but don’t let it consume you in the fire of anxiety and self-doubt.  Show some faith and believe the Universe has your back.  Listen to the little voice. Believe the hunch. Lean into the challenges.  Give yourself permission to really live.